Yesterday, we got home from work and immediately changed into pajamas; it was one of those days. We were discussing some plans for this month and indulging in brownies and milk when we heard a light tap, tap on the door. Mr. X rolled his eyes, but went to the door in his flannel pants.
Our neighbor's on-again boyfriend "Thor" was at the door. He didn't say anything just pointed and I heard Mr. X say, "Uh, I don't recognize him. Hmm, I can smell him." Thor grunted, "I'm taking care of it."
Since Thor could win a Hulk Hogan look-alike contest, Mr. X didn't object.
At this point I could distinctly hear snoring, so I peeked my head out the door. From there I saw a heavy boot and pant leg on the hallway floor. A DRUNK WAS SLEEPING IT OFF IN OUR ARCTIC ENTRY!
About 10 minutes later I hear another neighbor - who definitely shouldn't take up pro-wrestling - wake the guy up, "Hey, Bro. You gotta get up. Come on Bro. My neighbor called the po-lice and, Man, I don't want you to go to jail. You gotta get up and get out of here." At which point the inebriate lashed out, verbally assaulting the poor kid, "I don't **** have to **** go **** anywhere **** I don't **** have **** **** to ***** worry about." He went on like this until he passed out again.
20 minutes after that, I hear a cheery and enthusiastic voice, "Hey there, it's Officer Hayes! How's it going? You're at the wrong apartment. Yeah, I know but you can't stay here. (laughter) I don't usually see you out here; you're usually downtown. (laughter) Who're you visiting? Friends or family? Can I give you a ride? You ready? Come on, let's go."
On one hand it's pretty creepy to live in a place that invites this type of visitor. On the other, it was a terribly wet, windy and cold evening. At least he wasn't passed out in a puddle?
Either way, I'm counting on him
NOT remembering where he was last night so he can't come back.
